Quando chove na minha rua

Ela chora

Com a lembrança

No ar

Na calçada

Nas janelas dos prédios

Que o amor é aquilo que sinto

E que dou

Sem nunca o receber.

São as flores selvagens que brotam

Desordenada e espontaneamente

Do meu peito aberto

Sem serem cuidadas

Nem colhidas

Até se tornarem matagal

De espinhos e ramos

Que tudo consome

Apenas regado pela chuva

Que cai na minha rua

A luz do candeeiros

Afunda-se em tempestades de afecto

De beijos que sobem à flor dos lábios

Sem nunca terem sido dados

E apagam-se do sufoco

De não ter.

Pretty

I have a pretty voice

But what I feel

It isn’t pretty

It feels just like a scream

Waiting to happen

Wanting to happen

A coarse sound

A hoarse sound

Ripping the veil

Between heart and mind

The sort of sound

That drives people insane

Raw

Visceral

Emotional

And then I open my mouth

And a frail sound drips from it

Like honey

Like velvet

Making a broken heart seem

Like a beautiful thing.

I want to scream

And I can only sing instead.

How can so much pain

Fit into a single human being

Only yearning for love

And freedom

Scream

I never learned how to scream.

Whenever I want to

Whether in life or in dreams

My voice curls up in my throat

And it comes out as a weak, raspy thing

All the velvet in it gone

All the honey made into hard crystals

That bury themselves in my throat the more I try to scream

And no amount of muscle knowledge

Or voice coaching

Can make it come out

My loudest voice is a whisper

Low, soft, clear

But how I want to scream.

I never learned to scream

Because I was always afraid

Of what my voice could do.

Mother

When I was born

My mother cried instead of me

And that’s what’s remembered

Because her loud cries were always more important

Than my silent sobbing.

Waves

Your breathing in my ear

Sounds like the waves

The waxing and waning

Of the tempestuous tide

That inhabits your frail and beautiful body.

I could trace every surface route and invent some more

But I chose to lose myself in its depths instead

Navigating the calm surface

While yearning for the deepest abyss.

I’m not afraid of the dark.

Alive

My insatiable appettite for all living things

Will keep me alive

I have a hunger

To live

In spite of everything

I throw my head to the sky

I laugh at myself

Laugh at gods

Laugh at the absurdity of it all

The bravery and stupidity both

Of being alive